When I stated that I wanted new beginnings in 2010, I didn’t know that God decided to grant me my wishes.  Like everything He does, we didn’t see reasons behind it – well, not at first.  Now I know, He really does work in mysterious ways.

I really thought that my new year hopes for a good year is turning really crappy – losing friends you trust from a mere misunderstanding and shocking events at work all add up to a very uncertain future for me.  But, I have trust in Him.  I prayed that whatever He puts on my plate, He has reasons and I accepted them all.  I will try my darnest yes, but mostly trust that He has things planned for me. And He did.

Thank you, God.  I count every blessings. You have made me opened my eyes that whatever I think that might be good for me is maybe really not.  That you have saved me from my own undoing. That you have to put me in a position where I have no choice but to stand up and think straight.  You didn’t give me what I want. Instead You gave me what I NEED.  And, I really needed that.

Praise to Allah. Alhamdullilah!  Here is to a new, brighter and happier beginnings!

To my dearest friends who doa for me, send me leads, lend a ear…I love you guys!  You are one of the blessings!

“Be careful what you wished for…it might just come true”

The 2nd day of the new year. Usually it goes unnoticed; overshadowed by the much celebrated 1st.  But, I think, the 2nd is the most important.  After all the partying, merry making and celebratory whoops, the 2nd is usually the day that everyone got over from their hangover; and that’s when reality sunk in.  The 2nd is when almost everyone starts doing their New Year resolutions (usually for not very long after!).  It’s a sobering day (in more ways than one).  It is when people realised that there is no turning back.  This is it. It’s the new year.

I never am a person to make resolutions, but I like learning from mistakes.  So usually, the 2nd is reserved for me to think back and learn.  So what did I learn and what lesson should I take from the noughties?

Firstly, being happy.  No one is responsible except for me, on whether or not, I am happy.  Theoritically, it is easy. Doing, not so because you can’t dictate your emotions which is dependent on recent events, other people, hormonal imbalance, medications and/or many other factors.  However, you can try your darnest to take those elements that make you happy and put them on repeat mode until you are delirious.  It can be a cheesy song, the company of a good friend, your cat, your child, your work, eating, your other half (or eating your other half!)…anything to counteract the effects that make you melancholy.  So in two-oh-one-oh, I shall try my best to be happy even if it means losing out on certain events/people/friendships/things…

And yes, secondly, friendships.  I made many of these in the past year or so.  I realised one thing.  Friends come and go and that is how it is.  Someone (okay, it was Dew), told me that “Friends are families you can choose” (but she also told me that “Friends in need is a friend indeed but a friend with weed is better!”).  Coincidentally, I learnt a new word about friendship during the same time – frenemies. It’s a new word coined by the kids from the Hills and NY socialites (who also coined the word BFF¹, BFFE², BFS³).  Frenemies is those kind of friends you need to be wary of.  They are usually your very close friends but who are close to you because they need to feed from you just like a parasite.  They are there during your darkest moments but then turn around to gloat that they are not in your situation.  They can also be someone whom you are very close too, fall out of and now is your enemy armed with the most embarassing secrets you have.  They feed from your unhappiness, getting front seat at the circus, at your expense, of course. This is even more dangerous than your enemy.  This is your enemy with the biggest warfare that can hurt your very vulnerabilities.  Frenemies are the worst and you don’t even know they are coming to get you.  *shudders*

Still on friendships…I made many good ones last year and that was the salvage of 2009 from being a super crappy year.  I met up with my Primary school friends (after 22 years!), Secondary school friends who have now become some of my closest friends, old friends from my early twenties, and many, many new bonds too!  So I am thankful for those. While these friendships might change over time, I shall relish while its still good.

And yes, good.  Being good is hard.  Being good all year is harder.  But I did try, although not hard enough.  I did try to inculcate good habits like picking up running, eating less carbs, going for my full medical checkup, taking care more of my health.  Sometimes being good interferes with me being happy (please see my first point), so I chose the later.  So yes, I was not good all year round but I was good enough. And I was happy.

And my last point is, having enough.  No one will say they have enough. Nothing is enough, especially money.  Money No Enough, but that is a problem being in Singapore (and the world, being in recession and all) so not entirely my fault!  However, I am content.  Content that I can put food on the table, that we have a roof over our head, that my daughter has everything for her education and medical needs, that I have a job & a running business.  So what if sometimes we are tight.  We get by.  I don’t need expensive bags or shoes, or annual holidays, or even staycations.  I know where I stand, and I am comfortable with it but I do strive to be better of course!

Being better. So in 2010, I want it to be better.  How?  By keeping and doing things that make me happy.  By keeping and fostering good friendships.  By keeping up with the good things and being thankful for what I already have.  I will get rid of things that make me unhappy.  Not dwell on things I can’t change.  Move on.

So that’s it for two-oh-one-oh.

1  BFF : Best Friends Forever   2  BFFE: Best Friends Forever & Ever  3  BFS: Best Friends Sometimes

Some years back, I thought that I am done with socialising, that (social) life as I know it ended when I got married and have a baby.  Yes. That was what I thought and like I said, that was some years back.

My baby grew into a 6 year old bordering on 50.  An old soul who prefers to sit at home and muck around the house doing her own things and watching TV or quarrel with grandpa or make grandma cook her favourite dishes.  Going out with mummy and daddy is no longer “fun”. So mummy and daddy found that they got some freedom back from diaper changing and feed duty.  Their baby is now a chickling that don’t need constant pecking.

In an instance, we have our social life back, propelled by the social networking “ganja” (or crack or heroin or whatever drug of choice), Facebook.  We met with old friends and some new ones.  Our calendars got filled with birthdays, teas, lunches, dinners, suppers, plays, bbqs (deep breath), fashion shows, reunions, weddings, parties…*phew*

It’s not that I am complaining or bragging about it, but, I didn’t expect that my life would begin again when I am pushing 40!  Anyway, enjoy the pictoral from August to November.  Have fun!

Sutra’s Anniversary – Fashion Show with Fatimah Mohsin

Nomi’s B’day at Fika

Halloween BBQ at Dahlia’s

Aida’s B’day Surprise

Sara’s Graduation from Kindergarten

At the Sharinna’s  Twinnies B’day

Afgan Charity High-Tea Showcase.

At the Substation after watching Mew

Mas’ wedding at the Hilton

Shireen & Malique’s 9th August Ritz Bash

Syawal Open House at Aide & Ezreen’s

“Friends are families you choose”